How to Provide Support in the Wake of Suicide

By Lauren Williamson

Suicide can be a difficult topic to broach.

But the conversations surrounding a death such as the one that occurred Thursday in La Grange can be an important part of the healing, said Stephanie Weber, executive director of Suicide Prevention Services in Batavia.

“It shouldn’t be a stigma,” she said. “It shouldn’t be a secret.”

When you know someone who has been directly impacted by the death, such as a family member or close friend, Weber said to first approach the person by giving him or her a hug and saying, “I am so sorry for your loss.” Then offer some concrete help, whether it’s bringing over a home-cooked meal or giving them a ride as they make arrangements.

And simply let them talk.

“Listen to them,” Weber said. “Listen to them talk about their pain and their anguish, and don’t be afraid to hear the word suicide.”

Parents often appreciate friends of their deceased child coming over and sharing stories of happier times, she said. Help the person find a counselor if you think they need more emotional support than you can provide.

Listen to your child as they grieve, as well, if they lost a close friend or classmate. Getting involved in an event or by volunteering with an organization can help them cope, Weber said.

“Those are the things that help kids feel like they’re doing something good,” she said.

Talk to someone immediately—a teacher, a social worker or any trusted person—if you feel a friend is suicidal. It’s a secret, Weber said, that you can’t keep.

SPS offers the following list of signs that someone you know might be suicidal:

1. Talking about suicide
2. Talking about hopelessness or helplessness
3. Preoccupation with death
4. Loss of interest in things
5. Giving one’s things away
6. Setting business in order
7. Suddenly happier, calmer
8. Disturbance in eating or sleeping
9. Previous suicide attempts

If you or someone you know needs help, here are several resources:

• National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
• National Crisis Help Line: 1-800-SUICIDE
• Depression Hotline: 630-482-9696
• Pillars social services, La Grange Park: 708-PILLARS (nonemergency number), http://www.pillarscommunity.org/
• Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide: 312-655-7283 (nonemergency number), http://www.catholiccharities.net/loss/; The organization, part of the Catholic Charities, offers individual counseling out of its Western Springs office and support groups at its Worth office, which is located at 111th and Harlem. Call for more information or to register for a program. Click the photo box above to read LOSS's April newsletter.
• Suicide Prevention Services: 630-482-9699 (nonemergency number), www.spsamerica.org

Please recommend other local support services in the comments.