Beyond Yik Yak: the cure for bullying

Beyond Yik Yak: the cure for bullying

By Susan Barnes 

The recent uproar over how the app Yik Yak can be used for bullying prompted at least three Illinois high schools and its maker to shut it down in Illinois. 

Yik Yak is a constant Twitter-like feed that allows users to post comments anonymously about others. Its maker intended for its audience to be college students, but the app quickly became popular with the high school crowd. Yik Yak knows the user’s location and allows users to discover a live feed of Yaks (or messages) posted by people within five to 10 miles of their location. Users choose to share with the closest 100, 250 or 500 Yik Yak users.

Students have used Yik Yak to spread rumors of possible school violence at high schools in Mobile, Alabama and Marblehead, Massachusetts. A middle school in Georgia sent home a letter warning parents about the app, which has been used by kids to cyberbully others with posts so hateful a Philadelphia school changed its policy of allowing smartphones. In the Chicago area, Yik Yak disabled the app after three high schools banned it.

Even if the app is shut down, though, we’ve only succeeded in stopping the latest weapon in bullying. Next week, or the week after that, a new weapon will crop up that will have everyone scrambling to stop. Like the “whack-a-mole,” no sooner is one smashed down than another pops up to replace it.

The problem with this approach to bullying is that it’s reacting to the latest threat and not getting to the heart of the matter, which is to replace the false power that bullying provides with real empowerment. In order to do that, we have to provide kids with tools to build resiliency to cope with bullying and adversity in all its forms.

It would be far more productive to address what is behind bullying and empower kids to deal with bullying and other hurtful behavior. In order for bullying prevention to truly be effective, each child in each classroom must decide that bullying is not cool, that kids who bully are not funny, and that bullying will be addressed every time it occurs.

Below are some tips for helping kids deal with bullying in whatever form it takes:

● Educate yourself on what is current in your child’s world. We may not enjoy the latest trends in social media or apps today, but we owe it to our children to get involved and be aware of what they are being exposed to.

● Keep the lines of communication open with your kids. Start a conversation with your child to ensure that they are empowered with the tools of assertiveness so that they will be able to say ‘no’ when pressured to participate in bullying and inappropriate activity.  Let them know that they can confide in you and talk to you if something is bothering them.

● Teach kids to think before they post comments on the Internet. Ask them how they would feel if someone posted that comment about them.

● As parents, be aware of your own attitudes and behaviors toward others. Kids learn what they live, and if they see their role models exhibiting disrespectful behavior, they will perceive it as acceptable in their peer relationships as well.

●  Equip kids with coping skills to deal with bullying.

    Empathy: Knowing how our actions affect others is the first step in guiding our own behavior.

    Confidence: Knowing that we are good and capable.

    Resilience: Being flexible and balanced enough to handle adversity and bounce back.

    Acceptance and belonging: Knowing that we are accepted in our group of family and friends    gives us the firm foundation and a soft landing place so that we feel like we can attempt to “fly” on our own.

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Susan Barnes and Christy Pace created The COREMatters Project, a nonprofit organization that provides a multidimensional classroom experience to empower kids and teach them how to be more resilient in the face of adversity. It focuses on social-emotional learning, empathy and respect-building instruction  through cooperative learning activities, role playing, classroom discussions, individual work and taekwondo. Approximately 1,000 kids have gone through the program since it began in 2011. For more information, visit http://www.coremattersproject.com/.