Choosing To Move Forward

Looking at the choices we make on a day to day basis clarifies whether we are moving forward in our lives or not. Honestly asking ourselves about what we are doing and why while being willing to own the answers to change and grow is critical to get new results.

The hardest part of change is change. We naturally go back to our default tendencies our patterns and habits our comfort zones but this tendency is what keeps us stuck year after year. It is possible to make radical changes in our life. We can change our habits of thought and behavior. We can live with more authenticity, meaning, passion and success if we choose to. But we must be conscious of our choosing as well as diligent and committed. Understanding of course that to change requires change.

It is tempting to do some things and not others. To believe we are really trying when truthfully we are just testing the waters. It is hard to realize that this year looks a lot like last year and to admit that our game needs to be seriously stepped up. But it is vital to start with knowing that the common denominator is always ourselves and while that may not feel so good the good news is that we have the power to change that.

If all that does not sound so great to you maybe mediocrity suits you or maybe like so many others you will tell yourself you must settle for what you can get and spend your time wishing or complaining, feeling bored or stuck in a rut.That is a choice too and frankly, that is the popular choice. However, if that is not what you want and you yearn for more. You know you are here to live fully and be your best then start by taking a hard look at what you are really doing and the choices you make everyday.

I credit a seminar several years ago with Debbie Ford as providing me an aha moment that redefined who I thought I was. It was transformational in that it permanently shifted my view of myself. I obviously am a big fan of her work and was deeply sad we lost her recently but so grateful for the impact her work has had on me and countless others.

I recently finished her book The 10 Right Questions and again was struck with new revelations and insights. It became clear that I was not making daily choices that served my best vision of myself and my business. It was apparent where and why I was falling short. What a gift this is as I can now chose to fully explore these insights and move forward differently.

I highly recommend you read the book.

But will give you some of my thoughts it inspired.

One thing that is crucial when making a choice Ford says to ask whether it will bring short term gratification or longterm satisfaction. This measure I find is often overlooked by myself and others. We are a culture built on short term quick fixes and pleasure, this was the leading cause of our economic troubles as a nation in fact. Short term is seemingly easy way to live but it has huge obvious costs, robbing us of resources for our big picture dreams and goals.

Also, investigating whether you are being true to yourself or trying to please another. Doing what others think is best or putting everyone else first may at times seem generous and caring but really it undermines the only real responsibility you have and that is to be fully you. Doing this can also be a way we hide from being and doing what we truly want having the convenient excuse that we have other obligations.

Are you acting out of fear or faith? This one highlights the fact that all our decisions according to Ford and others will be based on these motivators. Sometimes it is the  fear something may not work out, rejection or looking bad rather than having faith in yourself and that things will work out well or at least the way they should for the greater good.

Looking for what is right. In all situations and on any given day we choose to focus on what is right and positive or what is wrong and negative. For most people focusing and talking about what is wrong is a major habit and pass time. Truly we are surrounded by this thinking daily. However, it is still up to us to acknowledge and choose whether we  look for what is right or what is wrong. There is no way around it you will find what you are looking for and feed what you are focusing on. This one habit is so powerful I think because it directly impacts your interaction with others, the results you get, your mood, success and happiness.

The whole idea of personal development coaching and self help training of all types is to bring awareness so that other choices can be made that work better. Through examining our choices and our actions honestly we can determine if we are on the right path in time to make adjustments or forge a new one. 

                               “ The unexamined life is not worth living” 

                                                         Socrates